I hate your face
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
