Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I am morally bankrupt
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
