If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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