covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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