No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
