First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
