Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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