What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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