I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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