Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
