TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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