And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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