found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
