Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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