He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
