no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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