Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
A+ Viking dick
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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