Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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