btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
