if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
