Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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