Your mouth is God's brothel.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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