fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
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rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
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He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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