oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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