Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
