The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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