so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize