Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
