My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
