My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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