I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
