my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
