My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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