You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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