I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
