I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
She said her name was "party"
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
