does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
