drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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