just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
