no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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