dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
