I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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