We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
