I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just googled if crying burns calories
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Two words: blizzard sex
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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