but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
