He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
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Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize