She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize