Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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