You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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