Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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