This is not my ceiling
tell your sister to shave her snatch
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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