I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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