Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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