oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
