Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
