wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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