im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize