a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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