i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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