Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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