Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
